THE GURU PATH

THE PATHLESS PATH

2009-09-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

I have not written on this blog in over 3 months: and with good reason. I have experienced so many twists and turns in my life that being away was essential for my growth and burning down of all the walls in my life. I went from jobless and drinking the sap out of Uncle Sam's Bailout Unemployment Money to having 4 different jobs that reward me in amazing ways!! My yoga practice began to suffer the busier I got; so I went from practicing 6 days a week to once a week. However, I took it upon myself to practice more mantra yoga and bhakti yoga.

Today, I have noticed that my physical practice has only gotten stronger from where I was some months ago. I feel as though with an intent focus on this pathless path, I have gotten stronger not only in my physical practice, but also in the practice of changing and being receptive to growth in my everyday life. I have become more patient life and more understanding to the lessons I have been given by the Gods and the Universe.

Because I now officially teach yog sadhana at Sonic Yoga (Asana Studio in NYC), I have been learning so much about my self and about different aspects of myself that I didn't know existed. To go into everything would cheat all of my experiences: it would be sort of like describing the beauty of a sunset I envisioned one time in Longport, NJ with the woman I love. These moments have been something to truly live for!

By no means am I living a perfect life. I am currently experiencing pains with certain jobs that I do; I am experiencing pains because I am constantly transcending the level on which I landed upon. That is life! According to Brian Tracy, "Life is full of problems; we are supposed to solve them so that we can then deal with more problems." These are not problems that are made to destroy your life; these are problems that are made to bring you understanding, growth and change. For some of us, we choose to look at our problems as if the world is caving in on us. However, the moment we attempt to look at a problem as something that is forcing us to grow, we are pushed to the precipice to find a resolution and quickly. Because, like a tree, if you are not growing, you are dying. Growth is essential when walking along a pathless path; for if you do not grow and continue on walking amidst the arduous journey, you are dead.

During my time away from the blog, I have also realized the importance of connecting to some sort of source in your life. When I think of the source, I don't immediately think of God. I think a life providing energy that allows me to breathe the air I breathe, that allows me to walk the way I walk, that I allows me to think the way I do, that allows me to live the life I live. When I think of the source, I think of the power that allows humans to live on this earth and that allows the earth itself to exist. When I think of the source I think of the earth that provides for the flowers. But, unfortunately, flowers that are in the florist are dead. They are cut off from their source. They may appear to be beautiful and radiant; but in about ten days or so they will wither away and die because they are no longer connected to their source. Many of us humans are the victim of being "the walking dead." We walk around and live our lives unconnected to the source. And eventually, we will all die like the flowers. I don't want to just live and die. I want to live and live. The life and death cycle is always occurring...why should I enhance the situation by removing myself from the source?
The source can be God; however the source can be the life force energy in this universe, it can be the air that we breathe, it can be water, it can be any element, spiritual entity, deity, nature, plants, animals or whatever else. It is just important to recognize that you must be connected to that source that enlivens your mind, your body and your entire well being. For me, I have realized that I have once again found my source and connected to it. I was the "walking dead" for a very long time; and now I once again have a shot to open my petals like a glorious bird of paradise, wither away like a tree in the winter, and grow strong like a daisy in the spring! The source has allowed for me to continually experience the hardships of life as well as the amazing the parts of life without feeling as if my world is ending.

This pathless path has been interesting. And I realized that the more open and receptive I am to life, the more open and receptive life is to me. The more I give to others and embrace them as high as I embrace myself, the more light I receive in my dark tunnel that I walk through. Every step of the way, I have confidence that I will be shown the another 200 feet along this dark path.

What is to come, I don't know and I don't care. What I do know is that I will continually acquire the great knowledge of Self-Knowledge the more I stay connected and focused on walking down this Pathless Path.

Om Shantih

LIGHTING A CANDLE IN A DARK ROOM

2009-06-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

This has been a journey of awe, wonderment, love, fulfillment, happiness and pain. I am still learning how to embrace this.
I am getting better; however it is very tough moving through the troughs of life when the universe is serving challenge after challenge to you on a silver platter to truly test your will, passion and dedication. One of the greatest poets to every live said something so beautifully:

"Without the frown of clouds and lightning, the vines would be burned by the smiling sun. Both good and bad luck become guests in your heart; like planets traveling from sign to sign. When something transits your sign, adapt yourself, and be harmonious as its ruling sign, so that when it rejoins the Moon, it will speak kindly to the Lord of the heart."

~Jalaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)

It is amazing when I think about it, that I really need to endure the painful times to have amazing wonderful times: and vice versa.
My Hatha Yogic practice is getting stronger in so many intricate ways. I have been teaching Free Yoga in NYC every saturday
@ 11:15 in the Union Square area (http://www.FreeYogaNYC.com); I sincerely and truly love it. I have also had amazing opportunities to assist various teachers in the city as well. Some opportunities to teach are starting to slowly reveal itself
as well. I feel so blessed during these bitter-sweet times. Over the past month, I have truly started to really understand
the meaning of watching the elevation of mind and body and transcended each and every moment consciously. But as with the sun shine, there are and have been dark times. My system is constantly purifying itself mentally and physically; it is not easy. This is the the breakdown of the Ego and the burning out of physical body toxins. There is a lot of clutter around the SELF. The SELF is the only thing that is changeless. Everything else around it is continuously changing and morphing; and I realize the importance of moving past those changes so that I may achieve the goal of moving closer towards my true SELF. My gurus have been consciously supportive. I am ever so grateful.

I now understand the purpose of having good and evil, negative and positive, light and darkness. A Guru is the one that is a master of both of these energies. He does not partake in either extreme (Gu meaning Darkness, Ru meaning Light). The Guru is the almighty perfection and Maharishi (great sage) of these energies. I have a very long road to travel; it is a 'good thing' that this road has been pathless. I have completely jumped off of the cliff and died into life; and I will die and live and live and die so long as I 'live and die.' I am prepared to break the fetters of re-birth. Amongst the hardships down this guru path, I am rooted like a tree during the calm after each and every storm. The Prana (life force) is my guiding energy; I listen to it, absorb it and become it as I grow in each and every moment.

This is my dark room; and I know that only I have the candle that can ward off the darkness in my room. Only I hold the candle that will eradicate the darkness and control it through illumination.

I wish you all eternal bliss...Nityananda (eternal bliss).
Namaste.

RETURNING FROM ONE OF MY HOMES: JAMAICA

2009-05-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Jamaica a few days ago. I stayed in such amazing accommodations. I ate ackee & saltfish, bammy, festival, and some other amazing Jamaican dishes. I love going to Jamaica because it really allows me to reconnect to my home away from home. However, this time the connection I felt was slightly different, yet stronger than ever before...

The flight down and to our accommodations was perfect. Upon walking out to our pool, I had a bird's eye view of the entire west coast of Jamaica. I connected to the beauties of nature from that moment. The smell of the flowers, the rustling of the trees, the chirping of the exotic birds in the distance all set the tone for what became an outstanding charge for my connection with the world. We had a great group of people and the time of our lives!

While in Jamaica, I connected ever so deeply with my asana and pranayama practice. I practiced 5 days out of the six days I was there; I practiced right at that beautiful lookout point near the pool. I rose every morning between 6:30 and 7:30 in order to delve into my practice during the early hours as a means of truly connecting with the tranquility of the island. I got to practice different sequences I am working on for my free yoga classes this summer (http://www.freeyoganyc.com). I experienced so many things physically and subtly during my practice. I am really learning the inner workings of the lungs through pranayama. I am also starting to truly understand how powerful prana really is in the grand scheme of our bodies. I am so glad I had the opportunity to experiment with various asanas, the Bandhas, Nadi Sodhana, Bastrika pranayama and some powerful shatkarmas like Kapalabhati. It is sad that Sri K. Pattabhi Jois has passed and left the physical body, but he has always been right about one thing: "Continue to practice, practice, practice. All is coming." I truly understood for the first time--genuinely and energetically--what continual practice can really do for an individual's overall practice. By continually practicing everyday, I was able to connect with everyone on that trip in a very unique way unlike ever before. Two of the people on the trip I had never met before; yet I left the trip missing them and everyone else. I love the connection we share with each other as human beings. I feel as though my 'yoga receptors' allowed me to be someone of strong, humble and loving qualities. These are qualities I tend to struggle with in my everyday life; but during that trip and after I felt at ease with my new understanding.

I had great conversations with an amazing individual that works in marketing here in NYC. He had so many insights, feedback, pointers that have excited me with regard to business. He is one special person and has so much love to give. I feel blessed to have been able to sit down and talk to him for two hours during that trip. His breadth of experience and knowledge has inspired me to continually push myself towards greatness and continue down the path I have been walking. Every now and again, I believe we all encounter people that can have a major impact on our lives. Sometimes these people are put into our lives for years, some for weeks, some for days, some for just a few minutes. But it is what we take from these individuals that help us move more unison like a school of fish. At times, we are all scattered and we need that one fish from the school to tell us how to move as one unit.

In Jamaica, I met a Rastafarian named Perry. I have seen him before we met. He was friendly with one of the guys in our group from that last time they came to Jamaica. He came up to visit us. He smoked some of his own ganja and we all engaged in deep conscious conversation. We all talked about many things. It was wonderful. I love being in the presence of a true Rasta Man; they remind of Gurus that are wander the caribbean.

My girlfriend and I went up to visit my grandmother's grave as well as some of the other ancestors graves in Hanover. My family comes from a town called Coal Spring and we have a family burial plot on the land (This was a very old practice because during the ancient times, many people could not afford to bury people in cemeteries). The last time I saw Coal Spring was in a dream after my grandmother passed away and we had buried her ashes there. I was having a conversation with her in the dream and I was also watching us have that conversation. Nevertheless, I made my return. The graves are strong looking, well manicured and in good standing. From the moment I got there, I felt as if every grave that was there was speaking to me. I touched the graves and felt a vibrational energy akin to when I meditate with various mudras. The power there that I felt was so amazing; I felt so calm and still. I didn't cry when I was out there; I wasn't sure if I was going to. But I think I didn't cry because I understand death with a little more wisdom and grace than ever before. Also, I felt as though everyone there spoke to me; so I asked my self, "What is dead here?" It was great food for thought...In my philosophy class this week, the enlightening professor asked us to answer the question of "What Am I..." I responded that 'I am Everything,' which would include life as much as it would include death. At that moment in Coal Spring, I felt dead as the person I walked in as and punarjanma as a new individual. The SELF--again--was witness to this cycle...I relish every minute of it. I left Coal Spring with a new understanding: PunarJanma is constantly occurring and we--the SELF--is always apart of and witnessing every aspect of the life and death cycle.

Upon returning from my trip to Jamaica, I set foot back into this life as a new being. If a ship continually needs repairs, and parts of the ship are continually being replaced up to a point where it has none of the same parts...Is it the same ship or a new ship?

I received news upon my return that the GM @ Dharma Mittra Studio wants me to do karma yogi work this upcoming week. I am very excited. There may be a position opening up, from what I was told. This is sort of a "see how it all works out" kind of thing. I also ran into a friend of mine that is looking for some help from me with regard to one aspect of a business he is starting. Things are starting to shape up nicely.

In the mean time, I continue on the pathless path of PunarJanma as I continually ingest the mantra: As Above, So Below....

Namaste

FINDING 'A' GARDEN OF EDEN

2009-05-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

I feel so different these days....
In a great way...

Over the last couple of weeks, I have met "something" that follows me every where I go. I'm not sure what it is. To call it a God of some sort would be presumptuous. However, to call it a spiritual entity alone would be an understatement. I am just open to the fact
that I feel a presence flowing around me and inside of me. I can feel it, taste it, smell it and communicate with it, but I cannot see it. It is 'THAT' and 'THIS' that is everywhere. That is my best way to describe it. I have felt it ever since I paid a visit to Dharma Mittra's Yoga Studio. I have been practicing @ the studio with Dharma himself. His classes are intense and filled with love. But something has been happening within me as I practiced there more. I felt as though he knows where everyone's practice is and pushes their spirit as a means to encourage their bodies to go into certain asanas they have never truly delved into.

The first day there, I went into full lotus in shoulder stand for the first time in my life! I've never been able to go into, let alone, padmasana; but somehow his presence and his teaching encouraged me to release into the pose. I can't even say I felt amazed. I don't necessarily know how I felt. And at this very moment, I don't want to categorize it. However, I knew that I wanted to practice more and more at his Monday / Wednesday 12pm class. The two hours there feels as if I am there for 30 minutes. Strange... Also, for many people that know me, I am notorious for walking around with my Jivamukti China Gel (plug- lol) as a means to keep my joints heated so that I don't injure myself: predominantly my knees and my insteps of my ankles (Will Duprey once called it my jar of Shakti lol). At the end of the day, it was a crutch that I felt as though I needed every time I practiced yoga. The first day @ Dharma's studio, I felt as if something whispered in my ear, "...you don't need that..." referring to the china gel. So I left it in my bag. Three weeks later, I have not practiced with china gel at all. Three weeks later, I feel this "energy" is still following me around and communicating with me in similar ways....It found me at Dharma's studio. But maybe, it has always been around me and I am truly starting tune into it's vibration for the first time in my life.....................................It feels like it is Ekah Tryambakam Yajaamahe...

Teacher training has come to a close. I have felt so many things during this training. In the beginning, I really enjoyed it. When Lauren Hannah went on maternity leave for several weeks, I felt as though my focus was drifting and that organization was lacking on many levels. Then we were introduced to Will Duprey. He reinforced for me, why I chose this training. Then at the end, the presence of Lauren and Will back in the training was moving. "It" all made sense to me: it was one big lesson from the Satgurus that walk with me. I was listening for big rounds of applause when I should have been listening for the sound of one hand clapping. And now, my mind is tuning into the big info; I guess I am ready for this information and experience at this very moment in my life; and the universe is allowing me to download it from my past life....

I have been experimenting with many different mantras lately. The two that I have gravitated towards me the most are the Gayatri Mantra and the Mrityunjaya Mantra. I can't say that I have played with them long enough. So I have to allow them to
to melt into me. I am also experiementing with a variety of mudras in order to see what is being channeled while chanting certain mantras. I know there is more to those electrical feelings that run up and down my arms while holding these mudras.

In a great history book called the Bible--I'm sure many of you know it--there is a story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. Because the Bible was written in parables, I often times meditate on what these parables in this book (and other mystical books such as the Bhagavad Gita and the Ramayama) actually mean. God banished Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden with no opportunity to ever return; and so the struggle began to "re-connect" with "God." If I remember correctly the "serpent" (lets call him kundalini) was telling Adam and Eve that God didn't want them to eat of the tree because God didn't want them to "become" like God. So, why didn't we "become" like God after they ate of the fruit, I ask?

The answer that I got during meditation was, that the parable is telling people that they are "OF" God; and the Garden of Eden is our SELF. So in essence, God removed them from their relationship with their SELF so they can truly understand what it means to BE ONE with GOD....And so we have Yoga: the process by which we 're-unite'.

Why am I talking about this? Because I see a grassy plateau with weeds, locusts and a marsh firmament; and I know this land belongs to me. I think I used to own this land in one life. And because I have left it alone for so long, I need to cultivate it again....

The farmer has returned; There is a lot of work to do...but at least I found the land that was once a garden...

Asato Ma Sat Gamaya
Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

TROTTING THE ROAD TO THE PROMISE LAND WITHIN

2009-05-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have been having so many powerful, thought provoking, life changing experiences at every moment during the passing days. It would be super hard to describe them all; and to describe them every time would be like trying to describe what a beautiful sunset looks like in the Greek Isle of Mykonos each and every night. It would cheat the experience. How many ways can one say and explain how moving an experience was?

Nevertheless, I try because I hope to meet other people that are sharing similar experiences. Either way, I'm still on my own Guru Path. So I finally finished the Pranayama book by B.K.S. Iyengar. It was an amazing book. You have to understand a bit about the yogic philosophy before truly delving into this work of Iyengar's. I would suggest reading the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and fully digesting it first. Iyengar's book is more of a practice manual. With that said, I'm sure there are many books on Pranayama where one could study the practice of it. It is important, however, to practice each and every technique as described with confidence and commitment to the practice itself. Some of the stronger techniques of Nadi Sodhana with the Bandhas can be hard. But continue to practice, practice and practice and all will be coming to you. When I first started practicing Nadi Sodhana with the bandhas, I was struggling immensely: particularly with holding Uddiyana Bandha after Mula Bandha and maintaining my breath ratio. It felt super hard. But I was determined to give my body time to adjust to this practice and allow time for my intercostal muscles (muscles lining the rib cage) to stretch out. Eventually, it came to me. I practiced it for four cycles and I broke out into a strong sweat as if I had been practicing asana for about an hour. My body felt so alive. I felt--for the first time--I was communicating with some sort of inner SELF within me. I felt as if by me manipulating the prana in my body, a conversation was established between the external and internal world of my body. My goal is to do 8-10 cycles of this per day. I know it will happen. But, akin to establishing a great level of conversation with your partner, this also will take time. I have to establish this level of communication with my internal partner. I have to get to know it before I can become one with it.

I started incorporating this new 'superfood' into my diet called E3 Live. It is a blue-green algae from a lake in Oregon that is frozen and prepared for you all for the price of $30. However, I must say that I have been noticing some changes in my body particularly around my asana practice. I have been taking this for almost two weeks and already, I've noticed that my recovery time has sped up significantly. Sometimes I get a bit sore in my body--particularly in my lower back and my hamstrings. However, this soreness is starting to ever so gently subside. Also, I have noticed my increased amount of flexibility in such a short time. I know I sound like some sort of infomercial, but It is something that I have taken notice to predominantly because it involves my asana practice. In Hanumanasana, I am closer to the floor than ever before. In several other poses, I am having similar experiences. Now, this could all be because I have been practicing yoga almost everyday of the week--sometimes twice a day. But there has been some noticeable changes going on since incorporating the E3 Live into my diet. Maybe my entire system is becoming stronger like the tortoise. After all, the tortoise only eats alfalfa, blue-green algae, and other live foods. The tortoise is also one of the oldest and strongest creatures living on this earth (that we know of). It is known to live up to 188 years old. I have heard and known for a while that blue-green algae is super powerful. This earth was made to sustain itself and its creatures and vice versa. If we eat what the earth provides for us, we can in turn provide back to the earth by planting and sowing what the earth requires to maintain the Alpha-Omega cycle.

During my travels in the city as a yoga journal-yoga conference rep, I have discovered Dharma Mittra's powerful little studio on E 23 Street in Manhattan. I have yet to practice in one of his classes there. However, I am making that a priority of mine this week. I actually applied to be a Karma yogi there. Something has attracted me there. I visit many studios all of the time. But I have only applied to learn at Dharma's studio. We will see what happens. I have been rooted in the Jivamukti practice for a couple of years. However, I recognize that Jivamukti's method has been preparing to open my eyes towards other yoga asana practices at this point along my path. It is funny how life works. The amazing and powerful Rima Rabbath (http://jivamuktiyoga.com/fms/teach_fm.html) has been my teacher for a very long time @ Jivamukti. About a year and a half ago, she wanted to take me to introduce me to Dharma Mittra @ the studio so that I may take another teacher training to prepare for Jivamukti's teacher training. However, I was not mentally ready to receive that during that point in my life. (I was working in finance @ Deutsche Bank during that time and I was miserable, unhappy and suffering from depression). And somehow, I have managed to find my way to Dharma's studio. We shall see what will unfold over the next few months. However, I am immensely grateful for Rima and all of the Jivamukti teachers that have helped to shape my asana practice. That is an amazing place to study yoga. I am forever grateful for all of the amazing teachers that I am meeting along this path.

It is known that Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa says, "All want to be the guru, but very few indeed want to be a disciple.” I wonder if this Guru Path of mine has no end...Maybe I will forever be the disciple...Maybe only the best disciple is the greatest teacher...

Hmm....I think it would be fair to state: A GURU'S BEST DISCIPLE IS A DISCIPLE'S GREAT GURU.
If it is to be, then so it shall...

In the mean time, I continue traveling down the never-ending road. One thing is for sure though, before I meet my guru, I will meet my SELF many times....I can't run from that.

Namaste

MY MIND GREW SO FAST THIS WEEK, AS IF IT IS GOING THROUGH A "BRAIN PUBERTY"

2009-04-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

In this week alone, I had an amazing set of asana and pranayama practices, while managing the digestive repercussions from eating food that is detrimental to my system. I made it, I feel better than ever, and now as I finish up another weekend of teacher training @ sonic yoga, my body is drained...but my mind is continually elevating!

I started the week taking class @ my home, Jivamukti Yoga (http://www.jivamuktiyoga.com). The Jivamukti method was created by Sharon Gannon and David LIfe! I took class with the wonderful and sweet Cassandra. Her classes always allow me to challenge myself in a powerful and invigorating asana. Later on that evening, however, I was a little snack-ish after dinner (my salad ;o). I opted for the worst thing possible for my system: Honey Nut Cheerio's. I used to love that cereal. Nevertheless, I realized that my system is super clean right now; I eat about 50% - 60% Raw Food every day. I eat about one cooked meal a day. So my system is used to receiving strong, live enzymes, nutrients, vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants from most of my foods. And I decided to poison myself with that cereal. I say 'poison' because the night ahead of me was very unpleasant. I slept for two hours and awoke with extreme gas pains in my upper abdomen. I felt like there was a tight pocket of air stuck inside of me. It was the worst. I probably slept for about a total of 4 hours. My bowel movements were not consistent and my belches smelled and tasted very abnormal. I knew for sure that my body was trying to rid myself of something very toxic. I strongly believe that the cereal indeed aggravated my system because (1) I haven't had that kind of stuff in about two months and (2) at the end of the day, it is baked processed food that creates mold in our system when we try to digest it: it is dead food and will not do anything 'amazing' for my system. It is probably right up there with trying to digest chemically modified meat products.

I took the day off from Yoga asana practice on Tuesday; however I did observe Will Duprey and Keith Wittenstein's classes, respectively, at Sonic Yoga in order to meet my teacher training requirements. These guys are great! After the classes, I shot down to Jivamukti Yoga because I received the best news ever: they were going to donate ten yoga mats to me for teaching my community-donation classes in the summer!!! I have to thank Purnima and Louis @ Jivamukti for making it all happen. In the summer, I will be renting some studio space in the union square area and teaching asana to the community as a means to (1) raise more awareness to the Hatha Yoga practice and to (2) get myself ready to be a great teacher and student to all of my fellow yogis and gurus through this mystical, spiritual and inspiring experience ahead of me. I am slightly anxious about teaching to my peers. Nevertheless, I am excited to get the ball rolling and start attaining experience as I walk on my path. I really want to reach out to a couple more studios to see if anyone wants to donate more mats, blocks and belts to my little shala come summer time!!! I hope to get some good things!!! :o)

On Wednesday, I was back in action. I took Jeffrey Duval's class @ Sonic Yoga which exuded such a carefree style of vinyasa flow! Afterwards, I went home and got some good rest in order to prepare for my Forrest Yoga class @ Om Factory! This is a powerful style of asana. It is VERY physical; there is no spiritual aspect. However, I enjoy the intense postures and exhilarating deep pranayama techniques we work on. Ana Forrest created this style. In this style, the postures are held for long periods of time in order to build physical strength in our practice. This one class I took was taught by Vassiliki-Bessy Trigka, founder of All-in-Yoga. This Grecian powerhouse was an amazing teacher; I had such an interesting experience in the class. I was holding Uttitha Parsvakonasana for a very long time. All of a sudden, I felt something ignite within me. This was some sort of Siddhi (power) with which I connected! It felt as if whatever it was, It was a lot 'bigger' than I; yet, I felt united with it and made whole with this high, supreme energy. My Kundalini may have been uncoiling. However, I think it is to early to tell. I need more experiences akin to this one to happen more often! My Nadis were on fire! I felt my channels igniting the entire body! It was truly amazing! Also, Vassiliki made such a minor adjustment to my Arda Mukha Svanasana pose that changed my life!!! One of the things that i struggle with is the slight scoliosis in my back. It makes it harder for me to lift out the roundness in my lower back. The other thing is that is hard for my shoulder blades to roll down my upper back. She made an adjustment that allowed me to understand how to roll my shoulder blades down my back; I had to put a slight bend in my arms. This was interesting for me because I have never been able to allow that to happen. So the new challenge is straightening my arms while keeping my shoulders down my back. As easy as it sounds, it is pretty hard considering my back condition. However, I KNOW that I am going to develop a stronger downward facing dog asana AND I will be able to bring that experience into my classroom in the near future!!! :o) I am AVIDLY working on it. I am ready for growth.....

Teacher training has been going great! Lauren Hannah is back and her presence was much needed (she was pregnant).
Today was amazing. I had so many points of clarity and invigoration! I was playing with a variety of mudras and I felt a variety of electrical-like energies coursing through my entire nervous system and my body!! At one point, I felt an amazing vibration as if I was plugged into an electrical outlet in the wall and I couldn't get out of it! I was tuned in to that same deep force that I encountered @ Om Factory in the Forrest Yoga class; I know it was!!! Something was happening in my body! I'm not 100% sure what it is, but I am so receptive to the entire experience right now!!!!!! :o) I taught for a bit today and I felt a little sticky. I need to work on incorporating more verbal cues in my postures and I have to learn how to NOT BE so serious! We were practicing Bhramari Pranayama for the first time. Lauren said that we may giggle or laugh because it tends to sound funny. I didn't think I would be literally cracking up in the middle of the pranayama! The Universe gave me a joke: when one of the guys was humming with a very particularly funny sound, I felt that someone leaned over to my ears and whispered, "how frickin' funny!" I lost it laughing, but I also received the click in my mind letting me know that even in Pranayama, life is not that serious! :o) I almost started crying, but thats when I entered into my deep practice of Samyama.

A lot happened for me, from being slightly sick again to making contact with a deeper energy field resonating within my entire physical body and my understanding of the conscious universe. It was an amazing week of growth. It was painful and challenging at times, the way puberty is to a young adult. However, my brain is ready for this transformation!!!!

I see the darkness I stand in now only because I saw a glimpse of the light inside of me...
I am ready to be led out of one and into the other....

Namaste

BLOCKING MY SHAKTI--IT'S ME AGAINST ME

2009-04-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been sort of hesitant to start teaching yoga asana. I have been so excited to teach; however I have been anxious. I've been feeling like I am burning inside to start teaching, but for some reason I have not made any strong initiatives to rent space to teach, secure private clients, etc.

My shakti may be trying to rise and I think I may be blocking it. I don't think I am trusting myself whole-heartedly as yet!

Shakti, from Sanskrit shak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that move through the entire universe. Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and fertility - while also existing in males, in its potential, unmanifest form.

Not only is the Shakti responsible for creation, it also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the Kundalini-shakti, a mysterious physiopsychospiritual force.

This creative spirit is fired up inside! I can feel it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I eat, sleep and breath yoga but I am creating my own bondage. I wonder if I fear the universe and the power that I and it, are? If that is the case, I am no different from someone stuck at the fork in a road making any decision.

It is tough because I don't have any friends or family (Guru or Kula-Guru) that I FEEL 100% talking to about my fears. I have my Alexi! And she has been amazing in supporting me. I know what I have to do. I have to just do it. I have all these concerns I have created in my mind: money, happiness, acceptance, all this DUMB DUMB stuff. I know I have to leap into the realm of nothingness. I have a hard time trying to harness the Prabhu inside me. I just want to end it. I am making this harder than it sounds. But I am going to go for it! I am afraid of staying in this purgatorial state of confusion.

It is time to plunge forward and fear nothing! I am still learning to transcend the mind; no more thinking, it is time to JUMP.

Please share this mystical mantra with me. I'm recognizing the power of the ultimate creator and I want
to be inspired; for we (Atman) are manifestations of that creator. This is my Isvara-Pranidhanna:

GAYATRI MANTRA
॥ ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः तत् सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहिधियो यो नः प्रचोदयात् ॥

oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ
tat savitur vareṇyaṃ
bhargo devasya dhīmahi
dhiyo yo naḥ prachodayāt

PRANAYAMA IS SHIFTING MY BODY & ENHANCING MY THOUGHT PATTERNS

2009-04-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

Prana means life force(breath) and ayama means restraint, control, manipulation. Pranayama can be loosely defined as control of life force or control of the breath. The life force itself is everywhere and in everything. The life force contains the five elements of the world and these elements course throughout each and everyone of us. Our human body allows for us to control this life force when it enters our inner space (lungs) and flows throughout the billions of nadis in our body. This prana nourishes our entire nervous system and other systems of the body. It is the most powerful cure all for our system.

During my teacher training @ Sonic Yoga, we have been starting to intently focus on Pranayama. We are being taught about the
inner workings of Pranayama by the wonderful William Duprey (http://www.williamduprey.com/bio.html). He has an amazing depth of knowledge with regard to Pranayama technique and Hatha Yoga. He has taught us many things that have excited me immensely. I have also been reading B.K.S. Iyengar's book LIGHT ON PRANAYAMA. This book is amazing; I have learned so much from the colossal Iyengar with regard to deep inner workings of Pranayama, the esotertic knowledge of Pranayama and the healing powers of Pranayama. Since I am reading this book and working with Will, I have been practicing Pranayama techniques more and more at home and in my own Yoga Practice. I have only been practicing deeply for about 2 weeks; and I am noticing a SHIFT happening inside me. To describe this feeling in depth would almost cheat it because it is hard to put to words, but I will try. During my deep breathing exercises and intense breathing locks--Nadi Sodhana, Mula Bandha, Uddiyana Bandha, Jalandhara Bandha & Puraka / Rechaka Kumbhaka--I feel electric like sensations throughout my body. They feel like charges that zap throughout my nervous system. When I was sitting in Sukkhasana while holding a Guyan Mudra, I was using Kumbhaka on the exhale and performed uddiyana bandha with Jalandhara bandha and held it for 12 seconds. Immediate after releasing the bandhas one by one, I felt a charge of engergy (prana) fly up through my mudra from my three fingers up and through my entire body. It was as if I had plugged into electric plug socket. Also, in class, I performed Jalandhara bandha with mula bandha after full in inhale kumbhaka. I first released the mula banhda; then I released the jalandhara bandha. I was still holding the breath and I felt as if a ball of fire was in my solar plexus. Will described this as "trapping the chakra (heart chakra). Either way, my body was on fire and I immediately began to sweat. After releasing the breath, there was a soothing sensation over my veins and my skin.

I feel as if my body has been changing for the better. I was practicing Pranayama this evening before my dinner and was so calm and relaxed. I engaged ujayyi pranayama and all other forms of bandhas and kumbhakas. My body was filled with relaxation as if I was in savasasana. My mind felt powerful; for some reason I feel like I am hooked up to some deeper cosmic / electrical energy that has ALWAYS been deep within me and I am just finding it. It sounds weird, I know. But it is like figuring out something new and amazing about a toy you always played with as a kid. I once had an action figure when I was a child. I played with many action figures as a child and I had many of them. This one in particular, I had for about a year. I always thought it was cool but, he had his role in my gamut of action figures like the rest of them. All of a sudden, one day I was playing with him and accidently squeezed his two legs together and his arms moved up and down! It was liked I discovered a new super power he had and he instantly became cooler and more interesting! I feel like my body has instantly become more interesting. I want to practice Pranayama more and more now.

Also, I have noticed my thinking patterns are getting more and more clearer. I feel such an intense focus on Yoga and my future in it as a business and me as a yogic philosopher. In the last few weeks, I have come up with a number of ideas with regard to fostering my future in the realm of Yoga and it is all very exciting! My mind is finally settling down. This is huge for me because I am sort of ADHD. Now, I feel at ease and I'm excited to focus on certain things with out letting my attention wonder around my inner space!

I love this new experience that is occuring!

I have posted two videos below by my Guru Paramahamsa Swamiji Nithyananda where he speaks about the Prana and its power. Enjoy!

I give the universe my love and respects; Nithyananda to all living & journeying Jivanmukta.

PERMANENT STUDENT--PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

2009-04-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

I had such a healing and therapeutic week, both physically and mentally. My body--today--is FINALLY up to 95% health. I only have a mild sniffle now. I felt so connected to my body during this time. I know it was necessary for me to be sick so that I may learn about the things that had disturbed my physical & mental energetic field. Since my vitality has slowly increased, I have returned to my Asana practice. My body--strangely enough--feels stronger than before. I feel like my healing has brought me to a new place of learning about my body and mind. This week, I took a new style of Yoga: Forrest Yoga. I practiced with a WONDERFUL teacher by the name of Emily Conradson (http://www.omfactorynyc.com/family/emily-conradson.htm). She teaches as the OM FACTORY in midtown Manhattan. This Forrest Yoga truly broke me down. It similar to a typical Vinyasa practice. The difference in this style is that they focus on developing strength, flexibility & alignment using a select few poses. These poses are held for long periods of time while you (the student) connect deeply to your Ujayyi Breath (deep breathing technique). I was holding Utkatasana (and other fierce poses) until my quadriceps exploded into internal balls of fire. The point I'm getting at is that I learned so much about my body. I'm not as strong in certain poses. My practice is continually developing.

On a deeper level, this was letting me know that the Chitta (the mind stuff) can take control at any moment I let it; and the moment I felt my legs were giving out, I quit the posture. I still have more development to go through with regard to controlling the mind. For me, it's not about wether or not I can do a better Utkatasana; it is about wether I can strengthen my SELF so that I may one day transcend the mind completely. My goal is to retain and control the mind so that I may transcend. However, I realize that this will only come by learning more and more and practicing even more and more. I must bring my body and mind under MY control. This healing process has allowed me to slowly regain control over my body. The mental tests this week let me know that control of the chitta requires continual practice! It requires being a student; I forget at times that we are always students in every situation (good or bad, positive or negative).

Great Students become wonderful, compassionate & liberated teachers. However, devotion to one's SELF is needed. I have to learn about ME (internally) before I can truly understand anything outside of me (externally).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Into the Classroom...
Not the Back, But the Front...
Diving into the SOUL subject at every moment...
No vents...
Keeping the heat internally...
However, No Fence...
The mind will allow me to jump out and cut class...
It will allow me to appease any cravings or desires...
Only to be trapped in a circle...
I could roll along like a tire...
But I choose the classroom...
Philosophy of Mind 101
I transcend the bully...
I allow my principal rules to keep me rooted...
Practicing and Practicing until I rise and the bully gets left behind...
Though he still intimidates others in the hall...
I focus on graduation...
From out of the outside...
To inside the inside...
The light will shine.

Date: 04 April 2009
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MEETING OTHER ORBS OF LIGHT

2009-03-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

I have been working as rep for The Yoga Journal for their upcoming Yoga Conference in New York. My job has been to raise awareness about the conference by getting yoga studios and holistic centers to strategically put up posters as a means to promote the conference. These centers/studios have to also give out flyers that provide detailed information to the potential attendees with which I will provide the. Nevertheless, I have been feeling so great going around to the NYC's Yoga Studios. I have been meeting so many great and wonderful people! These people are full of energy and are so excited to just TALK! lol These people love connecting with people in general. I really do enjoy this. I found it difficult to connect with these sorts people in the world of Emerging Markets in Asset Management (my former field). The financial industry was very tough for me . I could not even see the true light in my self because I was so jaded by the industry. I did this for three years and all I did was complain about it and take no action. Swami Vivekananda once said, "All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.” I feel as though I have been keeping myself in the dark about truly "seeing" all of the wonderful people of this world.

The world is FILLED with gloriously, wonderful and glowing people. My hands are finally moving away from blocking my own eyes. I am starting to see the miracles of life and the beauties within people...within all people. I am not ashamed to admit that I was blinded by my own coverings of darkness. It is this moment, I hope to grow into my very own glowing orb of light. I'm taking this moment of truth to bring light to my darkness.

SATYA PRATISTHAYAM KRIYA PHALASRAYATVAM ~BOOK TWO, 36 SUTRA (YOGA SUTRAS OF PATANJALI)

THE PAINS ARE NECESSARY TO BURN THE SAMSKARAS (TAPASYA)

2009-03-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

I was practicing Bikram Yoga today for a change. My body was feeling complete exhaustion; my heart was beating rapidly. I did not want to finish; however I felt it was necessary for me to finish. My heart was beating so rapidly, I started to judge the point of the practice but I realized that by continuing I was burning off some of my old samskaras (impressions on the mind). As I type this blog, I am still feeling the effects on my body. When the anger arose, I KNEW for sure that an old part of me still existed (the potential to feel aggressively temperamental). However by pushing through, I knew the burning of the old mind impressions was taking place. It was challenging, but I took full control of my mind during this 90 minutes.

Amidst the fact that I am slowly moving away from biting my nails and skin everyday, I am feeling better about shedding the old impressions. I haven't bitten my nails in almost two weeks! It's very exciting. These are the pains I have been experiencing; however I realize that when I am focused immensely on true happiness of the heart, I don't even think about things that upset me or make me anxious & angry. This is the beginning of really taking full control over the mind. The mind truly wants to take over the body and its actions at every moment. As long as I remain strong in maintaining control and focusing on all that makes me happy, I will always transcend the mind and rise towards a conscious state of nothingness: the mind's existence will dissipate so that I may reside within the true SELF (Atman). I will be moving closer towards having the true union (yoga). The Tapas will remain rooted.

Om Shanti!

THE BODY RECOVERING FROM A SICKNESS--IT WAS NECESSARY FOR CHANGE

2009-03-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

So I'm recovering from a sickness that put me out of commission for 3.5 days! My joints ached, my muscles were sore, I had sinus pressure in my head, running nose and the body was overall going through it! It was not pretty. I was in the house with thermals on with sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt as if it were 10 degrees outside when in actuality it was like 55 degrees. My stomach was feeling queasy so the bowel movements were not consistent.

However, after reading more into Iyengar's Light on Pranayama, he talks about the obstacles that can 'destroy' the yoga practice. The first thing he discusses is Vyadhi (sickness). According to Iyengar, Vyadhi can be caused by chemical imbalances in the body due to a gamut of things. The Hatha Yoga Pradipika talks about the six destroyers of yoga as over-eating, over-exertion, useless talk, undisciplined conduct, bad company and restless inconstancy. I think I may be suffering a bit from over-exertion and I may not have been resting enough in order to let my body repair itself everyday. I HAVE been practicing yoga 5-7 days a week which is normal for me over the last 5 months. However, I don't think my rest has been sufficient and THAT--along with the culmination of weather changes and filthy NYC--might have fed on my weak immune system.

According to the Bhagavad Gita, "...a Yogi cannot eat too much or too little. He cannot sleep too much or too little. He must measure everything: eating, sleeping, working and relaxing. Everything he does should be just right and even." As my practice has gotten deeper, I realize how important this is for me. This being especially true since I am enduring a yoga teacher training in this concrete jungle of New York City! My body is healing up nicely now due to lots of water, raw food & I-tal food (Rastaman Training from back in the day lol), vitamin C, juices, and the power of mind (OTC Pharmaceuticals would have killed me). I have dropped about 5lbs; however I feel stronger than ever. I feel like I may have slimmed out significantly. However, I think my body is going through a natural detoxification. I will be ready to put on some natural, healthy muscle weight in about a week. I am not afraid of this path! I am ready for change! This sickness was necessary for me to understand the importance of measuring the intake over everything into my body! My body is changing and I realize that it is important to adhere to it.

I give thanks to the Universe, My Gurus and the God residing within me.

I'VE DECIDED TO JUMP

2009-03-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm no longer working in the world of finance; and to be honest I am happy. I am happy that I was freed from those fetters. For a slight moment, I considered returning to that business because I know it well. But I realized that I considered it because I was afraid of change. I was afraid of starting over financially and career-wise in this tough market. I was still attached to the financial freedom that the business allowed for me. However, I am starting to break away (slowly from that desire). Society has done a good job of programing me to make me feel insufficient if I don't make a certain amount of money or work in a particularly revered field.

Now I've decided to align with my inner SELF. This is truly the most prized possession; I have decided to jump towards the path of yoga. I have decided to unite with my conscious SELF. I have been practicing yoga and meditation for over two years and I know now that there is where my heart and passion lay. I have entered into a teacher training for yoga; this is not purely for mastery of the physical asana practice. This is for the growth of my mental and physical self. This will help me move eagerly along the path (the pathless path). I am open to where it may go. At this young stage of my life, I have already hit a few brick walls; now I feel like I have everything to gain. For the first time, I am no longer afraid.

I am ready for the journey. I'm ready to receive the experience. I am ready to change lives. I am ready to serve others. I am ready to jump!

I WANTED TO SHARE THIS VIDEO BELOW; IT IS A DISCOURSE BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE GURUS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

My Love and Respects to you all.